Couples Counselling - Christchurch

When we first get into a relationship, we are often not given any rule books or guidelines on how to create a healthy and flourishing partnership or marriage. As a result, we often go into relationships with rosy expectations and fantasies, which are not often fulfilled in reality.

Many people come to us when they are in the throws of a power struggle with their partner. Rather than helping you ‘fix each other’ or ‘negotiate a better deal’, we view this conflict as growth trying to happen in each of you individually, as well as within the relationship. Power struggles occur because our childhood wounds become activated by our partner, and we each try to protect ourselves by using defence mechanisms. While the power struggle can be very painful, it also provides us with an opportunity to heal our own childhood wounds and learn to do relationships in a completely different way – one that is more connected, spontaneous, and intimate. When you come to the stage where you want to intentionally create a different reality with your partner, a compassionate and experienced therapist can help.

Our approach to working with couples is grounded in three different therapeutic modalities: Imago Relationship Therapy, Psychoanalytic Couples Therapy, and Transactional Analysis Psychotherapy. The strategies we use help facilitate connection, restore lines of communication and safety, and make it possible to look at your partner with eyes of empathy and understanding, which creates a new ground for experiencing a deeper and more attuned romantic relationship. During the sessions we explore the underlying processes that create your current relationship difficulties, which often involves exploring your experiences (and subsequent needs) as you were growing up. We also explore what fears and desires are present within the relationship, as well as tune into what both of you are communicating at a deeper level (e.g., the messages behind the words or actions).

We take a stance that being in a relationship provides us with an extremely valuable opportunity for personal growth and forming the type of connection we have desired since we were young. Therefore, we emphasise working with 'the couple' in a balanced way, rather than with two individuals. The type of therapy we offer suits a range of different relationship difficulties, including:

• Communication issues (e.g., frequent arguing)

• Unmet emotional needs

• Intimacy issues

• Grief and infidelity

• Mental health issues within the relationship

• Differences in parenting styles

If you would like to make an appointment, or to find out more please contact either Corrina or Lee at info@positiverelationships.co.nz or call (03) 421 1926 and leave a detailed message.

For more information about our services, click here.